A Memorial to ACNE records
by Rick McDick, Seatlle WA
May 26, 2003


Acne Records best known for their recordings of the Clergy in the late 1980s and early 1990s went 
bankrupt not long after the Clergy's final breakup in 1995.  Acne's story isn't worth much telling so we'll 
keep it short.

The Clergy's first full album release Residual Alliance of the Dead (RAD) wasn't their first album but it was 
the first to be released.  Their actual first album Stuffed Flushed and Resurrected (SFR) was so horrible, 
in fact, that Acne refused to publish it.  The boys were sent back to the recording studio and RAD was 
the result.

During the first printing of the album, the printers (Barthan & Folgui Press) made a typo and all references 
to Acne Records came out Acme Records.  Acme Records sued and won $111 plus attorney fees of $47 in 
Culver City Municipal Court.  However it was several months before the typo was corrected.  Today any 
copies of RAD bearing the Acme (instead of Acne) logo is trully a collectors item likely to fetch $3 US at 
a garage sale.

But Acne Records really didn't discover the Clergy.  Another even smaller recording company called Ace 
Records orginally had the contract to do RAD but a couple of stiffs from Acne got Ace Records to sign 
them over after only a couple of tracks had been cut.  The owner and sole proprieter of Ace Records 
got revenge during the release of Meltdown when he hacked into the mainframe at Barthan & Folgui and 
changed the type to read Ace Records instead of Acne.  Unlike the previous typo, this one never made 
it out of the printing plant (and neither did the owner of Ace Records...).


Residual Alliance of the Dead (RAD) (1988)

This album established the Clergy as truly scum of the music world.  Rolling Stone even went so far as 
describing them as an alternative to music.  It's not hard to see why.  Sophmoric lyrics full of bathroom 
humor, gutter language, and macabre sexual references really place the Clergy at the bottom of the 
heap.  But it was the song Residual Dead that deserved the blame.  Once the lyrics to this hideous song 
were decyphered by staff members at Acne it was too late- the album was out the door.

The only "hit" (if you could call it that) from RAD was the lead track Worms.  Originally it was part of 
the B side but when it was discovered that kids were only listening to worms and destroying the 
rest of the album it was decided to dispense with A and B sides and call them Reaper Side and Worm 
Side instead.  This tactic did little to boost sales.  You know its bad when an album costs less than 
$100 to record and still loses money.

Rack 'em Good, although overlooked when RAD was released, has since become a seminal song in 
the Clergy's reportieu.  It consistently places in the top ten whenever a greatest Clergy countdown 
program is done.  It has even inspired a few covers.

Hey You achieved a small bit of noteriety in 1999 when a Bob Dylan wannabe covered this tune during 
Woodstock 1999.  Unfortunately he was bum rushed on stage by angry event goers and spent the 
night in an ambulance that got lost on muddy country back roads.

Sludge Pit almost didn't make it onto the final album.  It was deemed too "dance-like" or "dancy" or 
"fairly-like" for Acne's taste.  In the end it was decided that Sludge Pit would stay since they couldn't 
think of anything better to put in its place.  There was a back-up plan ready in case they did come 
up with a better song.  The plan called for a gang of thugs that would track down all copies of RAD 
with Sludge Pit and swap them for a non-Sludge Pit version.  A trial run was only considered a partial 
success when the thugs stomped to bits copies of RAD they found and then roughed up some nearby 
teenagers.

It isn't difficult to see why the Clergy decided to name a song Roto-Rooter Man, but this song's lack of toilet 
sounds is a bit confusing.

Jam in B# and its companion Jam are two bold musical undertakings that redefine the word filler.  This two 
songs together comprise several minutes of pointless noise and whining that makes Pink Floyds Umaguma 
sound good by comparison.

Reaper Madness was the Clergy's first experimental use of sterio recording and like the B movie Reefer 
Madness upon which is it based explores teenage mind altering experimentation that leaves everyone 
involved running to the toilet to vomit.

Boulders was a song that Joe and Bufgoo practiced when they were in high school.  It may have been an 
attempt at a Metallica cover.  Bufgoo has said in an interview that they tried to do alot of Metallica songs 
back in their garage days but they could never quite make out the lyrics and so the results always sounded 
like different songs.  Boulders is probably a result.

Organ Grinder won fourth place in an East German military hospital patient review.  The prize was stripped 
when it was learned that the composers, although technically criminally insane, weren't members of the East 
German military.  A follow up, More Organ Grinder, which appeared in Meltdown featured and East German 
ex-military officer as guest conductor.  This piece was rejected by the jury for unknown reasons.

The recording of Green Puss Balls really infuriated Joe.  It took the Clergy three takes to get it down 
and he almost lost his patence.  He is rumored to have said, "I don't pay you to fart around with this 
sh*t, now lets get this damn thing recorded."  One of the reasons it took so many takes was that Joe 
accidentally recorded over their first run with a version of Sludge Pit.  Why Joe decided to redo Puss Balls 
for his 1993 solo album we may never know.

Like Movers, which appeared in Meltdown, Flowers was inspired by a B horror movie.  Bufgoo says he can't 
remember which movie inspired him but did say he remembered a kid in grade school who had lived near a 
chemical factory and talked with a lisp.


Garage Sale EP (1989)

Between RAD and Meltdown the Clergy recorded a three song EP that was released in 1989.  What they 
were referring to in the tracks We're Back  and We're Back We're Cybernetic is still a mystery but it is 
suspected to be related to a White Castle burger joint in Missouri.

Arnold's Song was originally suppost to have the backing of a full orchestra.  Joe wasn't satisfied with 
the results they got from the Saint Louis Symphony and decided they'd go completely acoustic.  Bar 
none, this song has the best ending of any Clergy song.

We're Back was always suppost to be acoustic and Hack had a crash lesson in playing the guitar 
but we're not conviced he was able to pull it off.  The confirmed reports of Hack playing a stringed 
instrument was from a recording studio snitch who claims Hack never could play the guitar and that 
it was Joe who did all the strumming.  Hack is reported to have played a wicked hammer dulcemer 
however.

Recorded at Acne #13.


Meltdown (1990)

As the story goes the lyrics for Clergy Street were written by a Polonius Viticus, roman breadmaker in 
250 B.C.  Joe claims to have found the lyrics on a scroll in his parents attic when he was moving out.  How 
Joe learned to translate latin script over two thousands years old we'll never know.

There was only suppost to be one title song to the Clergy's follow up album Meltdown and each of the four 
members thought it was encumbant upon them to write it.  The result can be heard on the Meltdown side 
of the album.  In typical Clergy fashion instead of picking the best of the four Meltdown songs they 
recorded each and everyone of them.

At the Graveyard harkens back to an age of raucous spirituals sung by overweight people accompanied by 
organs.  There the similarities stop.

Abortion Clinic was originally suppost to be a follow up to RAD's grotesque Residual Dead.  It has the same 
sort of macabre sexual lyrics that caused a controversy surrounding Residual Dead.  Acne wanted to avoid 
that situation again and so producer Sony Alpine figured out how to put a spin on the situation.  After all 
the tracks were laid down he hired a few studio musicians to come in and redo several parts in an attempt 
to give the song a more happy family orientated feel.  Sony suspected that if the music was pleasing to the 
ear then listeners wouldn't notice the offensive lyrics.  As a result in 1991 Abortion Clinic went all the way 
to number 97 in some scandanavian country. 

Funky Chicken Jam features an unknown guest jaw harp player who was seen entering the studio wearing 
a fake chicken suit.  This same mystery musician helped out Joe with his solo album in 1993.  There is 
some speculation that man in the chicken suit was actually Michael Jackson who is known to have 
secretly purchased many original Clergy master tapes.  It is obvious why someone like Jackson would 
want to hide in a chicken suit and both the Clergy and Jackson are better off today as a result.

Legend has it that the lyrics to Telephone God came to Joe in a dream.  He claims to have lifted them from 
a newspaper article he read sometime in late 1989.  Another rumor says that Joe traveled to the future 
and read the newspaper there, then returned to write the song.  Most people, however, believe that Joe 
smokes too much weed.

Down Under marked a turning point in the musical lives of both Bufgoo and Joe.  The song calls for several 
very low notes to be sung and at first they were afraid they'd have to hire studio signers to fill in for 
them.  Felix Mendelson, an Acne engineer give the boys the name of a gospel vocal coach who appearently 
was able to whip their voices into shape.  This gospel influence can be heard on At the Graveyard as well.

Takin' Retards to the Zoo represents the Clergy's first attempt at a cover tune.  The band seemed so 
surprised by the results that later they released and entire EP worth of covers just to see what would 
happen.  Unfortunately it was considered a failure since not a single one of the cover bands even attempted 
to sue for royalties (not that there was any money made in the first place).

Kaleidescope is another cover tune of sorts.  It was originally recorded by the original UK Clergy back in 
the sixities.  As a joke one of the Acne producers submitted the song as original to the Clergy.  They 
rehearsted it once and prompty vomited all over the studio.  The session was secretly recorded and 
the band didn't hear the song again until the first copies of Meltdown were being shipped.  Joe was 
furious and threatened to do some body modifications to the producer before he was bribed out of the 
confrontation with a bag of white castles.

Intermission Music was lifted off an old bootleg studio track from UK Clergy.  In the years that followed 
Manual was driven to drink by the pressure he felt in trying to live up to this level of bass playing.  During 
several concerts he was know to simply give up in the middle of the song and later blame it on "crappy 
strings".

Although later covered by Willie Nelson, Movers still ranks near the bottom of all time worst recorded songs. 
Bufgoo says watching a B horror movie of the same name inspired him to write the lyrics on the back 
of a roll of toilet paper.

Watching the Toilet Flush is one of the most unrememberable songs of all time.  Despite the fact that it is 
over 12 minutes long this song fails to register in the brain of the listener for more than a few seconds 
before (poof..) it's gone.


Clergy Does Other Peoples Stuff EP (1991)

The first album recorded at Acne's new #6 portable recording studio in LA was a technological breakthrough 
in the muscial world.  It is believed that at this time Joe first met Joe Tadahshi Nagamura of Maximum Thrust 
fame.  It was Nagamura who loaned his electric fender statacaster to Joe for the recording.

There isn't much to say about the songs on this one as they are all covers.  Actually they did a cover of 
their own song Clergy Street.  The strange thing about this cover is that it is actually worse than the original 
version (if you can believe that).


Prison of Shame (1992)

POS marks the last complete Clergy Album.  Riding high on the limited fame of Meltdown the boys attempted 
a more cerebral approach in this album dealing with issues of social consequence.  As a result POS didn't 
do as well as Meltdown but better than RAD.  POS broke with tradition in another way as well by being the 
bands only single sided full length album.

The rumor is that the band was ready to break up even before work began on POS.  The first six songs were 
written by Hack and might have been part of his attempt at a solo album.  They would probably have turned 
out much better as a Hack solo project.  As they are the effects of too much money and over production is 
clearly evident.  Acne was spending alot of money to get this album completed and hoped to top the success 
of Meltdown.

Put Me Back was a throw back to the Clergy's speed metal roots.  The concept was an obvious knock off on 
the entire abortion clinic phenomenon during Meltdown but its solid rhythm carries the tune.  Decent jaw 
harp solo as well.

SIDS is a Lie was probably the best produced and well thought out song in the entire album.  It is the only 
song from the album to enjoy any airplay and Acne moved some singles but nothing compared to the 
success of Meltdown.

This One's for the Social Workers was a thinking man's follow up to RADs Hey You.  Both songs have catchy 
choruses with lots of cursing.

Lunatic Asylum is just a dub from the the Other People's Stuff EP.  Another example of Acne filler.

Sick Minds mistakenly won a peabody award in 1999 when the song was accidently attributed to a recording 
by Alan Lomax in 1942.  With this song we can hear the vocal progression of the Clergy coming together as 
a group.  Both Bufgoo and Hacks backing vocals are sung with more confidence than on previous recordings.

Acne was sued by Archer Daniels Midland (ADM) over the lyrics in Shit Food.  Attorneys for ADM claimed billions 
of dollars in losses due to customers sudden loss of apatite for corn after listening to this song.  Most of these 
customers had visited VA hospitals in the months prior to foregoing corn (see below).  Since ADM wasn't 
explicitly named in the song (although it is speculated that Acne thugs went on a plan B rampage for Shit Food/ 
8000 Miles singles to cover up an ADM reference).  In the end Acne won several million dollars in a counter 
suit.  This was the signle largest profit ever seen by the company.

8000 Miles was expected to be a big hit with ex-Gulf War I veterens but things didn't go exactly 
as planned.  Instead of shipping 2000 singles of 8000 Miles to VA hospitals around the country 
Acne mistakenly sent them copies of Shit Food instead.  It didn't go over well with the vets but 
several thousand copies ended up being sold to VA gastro-instestinal doctors.

Lardball is a reference to a childhood bully of Bufgoo's who was even more massive than himself.  It has 
been suggested, however, that Bufgoo wasn't actually bullied by this Lardball but was jealous of the 
tub and set out to ruin his reputation.

Factory was originally suppost to feature a children's chorus of ex-East German factory workers son's 
and daughters.  The chorus had a scheduling conflict and cancelled at the last minute.  Obviously the 
song suffered greatly as a result.  Another interesting side note is that Factory was used as the theme 
song in a short lived German television cartoon series.

The fake social comentary doesn't stop with Polution Solution but goes one step further- into your 
wallet.  Acne was working on a music video (never released) which had an 800 number scrolling
across the bottom of the screen encouraging fans to call in with donations to the "Clergy Polution 
Conservation Fund".

Addicted to Love.  A Robert Palmer cover tune recorded live at the Budakon in Tokyo.

Following the tradition of the filler song at the end of each album Jazzy Lil' Ditty far surpasses the 
previous "Jam" type of filler songs.  This one actually has a beat to it and you can actually listen to 
it all the way through without smashing your sterio to pieces with a sledge hammer just to stop the 
evil sounds from crushing your brain!


End of Pure Clergy Albums


High Priest Joe: Sinphony 666: Exstacy Pigs of Valhalla (1993)

Joe recorded this album after the first break up of the Clergy.  Using Maximum Thrust, a local LA band 
that he discovered, as backing Joe produced the only solo album by an ex-Clergy member.  Several 
other Acne recording artists helped out in the endeavor as well.


SFR (the remix masters) (1994)
This was an attempt at reforming the Clergy by remixing the original Ace Records tracks of Stuff Flushed 
and Resurrected.  Joe and Hack were the only original members to participate.  Only half of the album 
was remixed and was eventually released as EP in 1994.  After selling only twenty copies the remaining 
members decided to call it quits and the Clergy have been dissolved ever since.


Clergy Generations (1995)

We're not even sure if this is a real album or not.  It contains purported interviews with Bufgoo and Joe 
but the authenticity of these have not been verified.  Released for Christmas 1995 Generations sold 
surprisingly well with an entrenched marketplace of ex-rockers nostalgic about 80's bands.  Acne was 
screwdly aware of this market and manufactured Generations just for it.

It contains two previously unreleased and unknown "Clergy" tracks, Cowpokes and Clergrap.  When these 
were recorded or even if they were recorded by the Clergy is unknown.  There is also a cover of Movers 
by Willie Nelson that is sure to annoy fans of both Nelson and the Clergy.

One bit of interesting trivia that has been confirmed concerns two songs from Bufgoo's unreleased solo 
album.  There may be more Bufgoo songs out there somewhere but we don't know.


Clergy Albums never completed

Satanic Hitmen in Town
This was scheduled to begin recording before POS but was pushed back.  After the dismal results of 
POS, SHIT was pushed back even further and renamed Pull the Plug.  And finally it was cancelled altogether 
in 1993 when the band first broke up.  All that remains of this project are a few scribbled lyrics for half a 
dozen songs.  Joe ended up recording some of the songs on his solo album.

Overkill
Back in the days of the Meltdown euphoria plans were made for many more follow on albums and 
Overkill was going to be the Clergy's masterwork, a 90 minute double album full of heavy metal 
thunder.  It barely got beyond the stage of a few song titles and a poorly drawn album cover.

Electrofusafunk
A pet project of Bufgoo's this was just an idea based on a concept for a funk song called 
Electroshock Therapy.  Supposedly the entire album was supposedly going to revolve around electrical 
themes with a funky beat.


Epilogue
Whatever happened to the Clergy?

Joe inhereted some money and moved to an Italian island in the Medeterranian.  Appearently he has 
attempted to claim soverenty from Italy but has so far been ignored by the authorities.

Bufgoo had a string of business failures after the break up of the Clergy.  He attempted to market 
his own brand of musical drum sticks, not to be confused with Drumsticks his brand of KFC like 
fried chicken restaurants.  Today he provides scientific and technical consulting to physics labs 
across the country.

Manuel went back to Mexico and started a successful gravediggers union scam.

No one knows what happened to Hack.  There are reports that hes been seen hanging out with 
Joe in "Rufasonia" the estate on the aforementioned Italian island.


Rick McDick's Top Ten Clergy Songs,

1	Worms
2	Telephone God
3	Abortion Clinic
4	At the Graveyard
5	Rack 'em Good (all versions)
6	Put Me Back
7	We're Back We're Cybernetic
8	Sludge Pit
9	Factory
10	Moozur


Other bands/artists signed by Acne
Bombs for Jesus (AKA TFCAHRO)
The Funky Chicken and His Rave Orchestra
Khropolys and The Technodroogies
The Crustaceans
Beldar Cohnhed and the Drektones
Buster's Maggot Farm (rejected due to misuse of obscenities)
High Priest Joe
Maximum Thrust